Clicker Training Izzy, Day 2. Hand Target

Today I fed Izzy her dinner by hand, and our goal was a nose bump to the hand.

Yesterday, all Izzy had to do to get kibble was move towards my hand. Today, I held the kibble in my hand until she sniffed it- click, kibble. Repeat.

Next, I moved the kibble to the other hand. She sniffed the empty hand (palm facing sideways towards her)- click-treat.

She repeated this many, many times. While's it a bit more difficult for me to determine intent in Izzy, as compared to one of my dogs, the fact that she returned to sniff an obviously empty hand a number of times in a row (>10) leads me to believe that she figured out the game.

Why is it hard for me to determine if Izzy's nose-to-my-hand is intentional? Well, a couple of reasons. She doesn't repeat the behavior rapidly. In fact, there is a lot of floor sniffing and looking around between the touches to the hand. In my dogs, once they have the puzzle figured out, the repeated nose bumps came quickly and with greater force. Izzy's nose bumps were sometimes barely there, but I clicked even a quick sniff to encourage the behavior. With Izzy, I think I'll have to keep a careful watch so that I don't change the criteria too rapidly.

Also, Izzy likes to be petted. Occasionally she went to my hand but ducked her head to get some petting. No click for that, but I did indulge in more petting overall during the session. It really seemed to keep her engaged.

I'm pretty sure that Izzy was targeting my hand for the food, with intention. I was able to move my hand to different places and once she offered the sniff/touch no matter where I placed my hand (still at her head level), then I tried turning my hand so that the palm faced away from her. That was a harder concept for her to grasp, or it could be that the vacuum running a few rooms away was too much of a distraction. (Yes, I have a wonderful hubby who vacuums the house. I'm so lucky!) I returned to the open palm towards her, and she resumed touching with her nose. I also tried to be sure I didn't present my hand until I noticed she looked up from the floor (where she'd eaten the kibble).

The kicker tonight: I put my hand just above and in front of Izzy's head, and she raised up to sniff it. Jackpot!

Training Izzy Day 1: Load the clicker.

I noticed that Izzy always appeared when I was training dogs in the living room. She's also very interested in food. I decided to attempt to clicker-train her.

First I had to load the clicker. I started by clicking while she ate, to associate the sound with the food. I presented small hard treats but she didn't like to take them from my hand. She'd sniff around my hand but not take them. I put my hand on the floor which was better, but she still took about 10 seconds between treats. I wanted her to really WANT the the food. She's been known to paw at my hand at mealtimes when I'm too slow loading her Egg, so I know she can be really excited about food. She'd already eaten this morning so I knew that she wasn't hungry. So far, I learned that 1) the hard treats were taking to long for her to chew and I wanted to present rewards rapidly 2) the hard treats were not high enough value, and 3) Izzy doesn't like to take treats from my hand. I decided to try soft food from a spoon.

The spoon was less intimidating than the hand, but she was still reluctant. Since the most important thing at first is to associate the click with the reward, I used a small tub of food and set it in front of her, clicking while she ate. Next, I began to click and present the food to her. She was eating rapidly when I presented the food in the tub, so this was progress. Click, present food, let her eat, remove the food. Repeat.

Things that are different from dogs: Izzy looks around at the floor when the food is removed. She doesn't readily look to me to get the food. I began to wait to present the food until she looked in my general direction after I removed it. My hope is to associate my face with the source of the food. I realize that I may be trying to shape behavior a bit early but I think it's important that she realize that the food is coming from ME.

Also, Izzy will walk away in the middle of a training session, to groom or to sniff the floor. Lesson to me: Keep the sessions really short and quit while she is still looking for the food.

I don't think we have gotten to the point where she knows "click means food is coming" and "Nancy is the source of the food". I will present her regular meals with a click as well. Next, I need to find stinkier soft food!

Ghost on the Agility Course

Let's Play!

About a month ago, Kane and I had an absolutely, amazing, wonderful agility training class. He checked in with me when he needed to, ran ahead when he understood where he was going, didn't bark at me (much) and we ran a full novice course flawlessly. I was grinning like a fool and he was looking at me with bright eyes and a big grin. The instructor was thrilled and my fellow students all congratulated me. I thought- oh my doG, we're getting it! We're becoming a team! I couldn't wait to get home and share this success with Scott.

But about halfway home, I had to pull over. I couldn't see the road through the tears. They weren't happy tears either- I was incredibly, terribly sad. I was sobbing so hard that it took me several minutes to regain my composure so I could drive home.

What the hell? How could this elation turn to a full-on blubbering, nose-blowing, shoulders-shaking, meltdown?

One word: Jake.

The last time I'd felt that kind of true joy after running an agility course was with Jake. My heart-dog, my partner, my teacher. When it went well (which it often did), running agility courses with Jake could be such a thrill because we were so CONNECTED. We were communicating- me and this found-along-side-the-road Aussie. He wanted to play this game with me, and he wanted to play it as best and as fast as he possibly could. It was so much fun to play those games with him.

So, what the hell? Why cry big crocodile tears when Kane and I had one of those awesome moments of connectedness? It took some time to figure out, but I finally did.

That moment of elation, that feeling, was unique to Jake. It tapped into that part of my broken heart that hasn't healed and may never truly be the same. My heart and mind have merged that unique joy of agility success with the bottomless pit of despair that I fell into when Jake died.

If you haven't played agility games, it might be hard to understand this. There is a special elation in a smooth, successful run in agility. It is a culmination of training and a public moment that declares the depth of the bond between dog and handler. In that moment, we look at our dog in awe and feel tremendous respect for what they are so willing to do for us. You can talk about it with family and friends, get a hug and a handshake, but no one else really shares that special, private bond with your heart-dog.

Knowing that there is a connection to Jake in all-things-agility is going to be difficult at times and I'm afraid that it will adversely affect how I play these games with Kane. One part of me will be fighting to avoid comparing Kane to Jake when I'm frustrated and challenged. And another part of me will be afraid of falling apart when a great run opens the floodgates of irrationally enmeshed emotions.

Luckily, I am too addicted to agility to consider giving it up. I just need to find a way to play agility with Kane that won't allow Jake's ghost to follow us around the course. Then again, I might be better off to remember Jake's lessons when Kane and I are playing. Jake expected me to be there with him in that moment and to do my best for him, as he did for me. I should honor Jake's memory by applying those lessons to my training with Kane.

So, here's what I've come up with after processing this strange reaction to success- I decided to blog this and make a public pledge.

Kane, I promise to strive to be a worthy partner in each moment of our journey.

"This moment is a gift. We are only
right here, right now. I have no other expectations.
Let's enjoy this game. I am Kane. I am your friend."

I'll do my best, little buddy. We'll enjoy learning how to communicate and to build that connection that comes with years of practice.

That is, after all, how you'll become my heart-dog.

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Tribute

Jake's death has left such a hole in my heart that even now, four months later, I cry as I write this. I've been working through the feelings by working on a video for him. I'm finished now, with the video anyway. It doesn't come close to saying everything about him that I'd like the world to know. But for now, it's enough.

The first 24 hours

In the first 24-hours that I've learned that Jacob is dying, my mind and heart have been swimming with memories and emotions. Most are hard to sort out and I'm too tired to try. There's one thing that seems important right now though, and that is to try and capture his physical presence somehow. I want to have all of my senses absorb every detail of him before I can't do that anymore.

I try to memorize the feel of Jakes fur. I bury my fingers deep into his white chest fur- it's soft and slightly curly. Then I touch the whispy fur on the top of and beneath his ears. It's silky soft there, and always looks scraggly. On his back, his fur is still soft but coarser and very curly. Funny how it's gotten curlier with age. His vertebrae are noticeable when I run my fingers along his spine. They always have been though, regardless of his weight. His tail-nubbin streams a long, multi-colored flag. (I wonder if I could make a bookmark out of that fur. Would that be morbid?)

Jake's lifetime of living with reactive dogs have earned him some unique features. There is a chunk of his left ear missing and white tufts on the top of his head from scars. I'm noticing again the way his hollow cheeks are accentuated by the missing molar on one side in the the back of his mouth. The molar was removed a couple of years ago because it was cracked; the result of being a power chewer and us giving him bones that were too hard. (I’m so sorry- we didn’t know they were bad for you.)

I bury my nose into his fur, breathing as deeply as I can to take in his scent. I’ve always loved the way his fur smells but today it’s diluted by the chemical smells of yesterday’s visits to the vet. I keep trying anyway.

I touch at his feet and notice how long they look. A lifetime of running agility courses with me (hurry up Mom, you're late again!) have caused his ligaments to breakdown. I am tempted to brush him and trim his nails and yet I know how incredibly stupid that is right now. Plus, Jacob hates being brushed. What true cowdog needs to be pretty anyway, right? Maybe it's the primate in me, wanting to demonstrate affection.

I decide that the best thing to do, and the simplest for both of us, is to lie out on the deck next to Jacob and just watch him. The sun is warm and soothing. We watch for squirrels together. I notice he's breathing a little too fast. I think he hurts. Then he turns, reaches out to bump my nose with his and I start to cry again.

I'm going to miss you, Jacob.

Watching squirrels

General's ashes

She gave you back to me today in a little wooden box with a gold seal.
Carefully, with both hands. And she was somber and sorry,
with her head tilted down and brow furrowed.

A ribbon dripped from the side of the box
A small tag with your name on it.
So festively adorned, such a box you might expect to contain
the secrets of the world
or a gift of some significance
or, at least, a promise.

Carefully handing the box to me. Like this box was something I should want.
That I might say “thank you” for.

My hands touch polished walnut.
I look at the tag and follow the ribbon that leads to the inside of the box.
On the inside was…
Not You.

A tiny bag tied with string containing
ash and bone and

nothing that remotely resembles you.

It seemed important at the time that they took you away that I somehow got you back.
In any form.
Anything at all.

But this is not you.

No. This bag doesn’t nestle in my lap or lay across my shoulders.
It’s not the soft gray fur and warm vibration of a purr.
Not the slowly twitching tail knocking pencils from my desk.
Not your four white paws with black spots on the pink pads.
Not your green eyes half-closed and looking up at me with love.

Not this cup of gritty gray dust in plastic. Not you at all.

I don’t know what I expected when I asked that they give you back to me.
But not this.

Just more evidence that you really are gone,
not just sitting somewhere waiting for me to come and get you.
More evidence that I couldn’t rescue you from the ravages of age or the creeping slyness of senility.

Is this little bag of dust supposed to be the essence of you? Is it supposed to be something for me to cherish?

No. This bag of dust sears the moment your spirit left into my brain again and again.

I held you and watched your eyes lose what little light was left until
they fixed on something too far away for me to see.
Then all I was left holding was a fragile bag of bones
wrapped in gray fur.
Still warm,
but still.

Now I’ve reduced that small memory of you to something even less.

All I wanted was to capture you somehow.
To hold in detail those moments that were ours, and ours alone.
When I knew that you loved and trusted me implicitly.
When I would stroke your fur, scratch under your chin and watch
your eyes meet mine and slowly close.
The feeling of love and peace,
your gift to me,
would flow through my heart and make me so full of joy that I wanted to cry.

How did you do that?

How could you leave me without that?

This walnut box is beautiful but it hides a terrible secret.
It hides the proof that your body was only so much carbon and water.
It was always only carbon and water.
What loved me was your spirit, and your spirit is gone.
I have nothing.

My arms are empty and my heart is torn and cold.

I miss you so much.

Goodbye to The General

General

April 1, 1992- April 24, 2009

We only knew you for 6 years of your life. It wasn't long enough.

Still, I'd rather have had those six years with you than to have passed through them without knowing you at all. Thank you for choosing us, General.


"Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell."

--Edna St. Vincent Millay

Ok, so we're crazy dog people.

We're looking for a puppy. Well, actually, I think we found one. He's only 6 weeks old right now and can't come home yet but in a couple of weeks, our lives will change.

What would possess us (ok, it's me, really) to consider adding another dog to this pack? It's simple really- I need to start training another dog for agility. Jake is almost 11 years old and while his spirit is as enthusiastic as ever, his body won't be able to hold up for many more years. And Keegan, well, she just doesn't enjoy agility as much as I do. In fact, she thinks the competition is pretty stressful and she'd just rather not participate. We're pursuing Delta Society "Pet Partners" for her.

When Scott started training Connor, I was jealous. Connor and Scott are having a blast. This is one of their first lessons. I'm not sure who is having more fun- Scott or Connor!

I'd been wanting a puppy for awhile when Connor came along. I warned Scott that if we kept Connor, I would still want a puppy for agility and that would mean we'd have FIVE dogs at home. Ack!!

(I am a bit worried about what people will think of us, having this many dogs. I mean, will they talk behind our backs, the way that people are talking about the octo-mom in California? "Whatever would possess someone to want that many kids?? Can she afford them? Is she crazy?")

No matter. We know people who already think we are nuts. That's why we mostly hang out with other dog-people. As one of my dear friends put it "no, five dogs isn't too many. It's only 2 1/2 dogs per person!". I love my dog friends. :-)

So, here are the two pups we'll be chosing from. Cute little buggers, aren't they?

This is a black tri male. He's full of himself and very pushy, but also considers things before acting.
This is the blue merle male (taken last week, at 5 weeks of age). He's bold, has lots of toy drive and really wants to be involved.

Someone else gets first pick of these two boys, so we don't know yet which one will be coming home with us. We're just grateful to Diane Munsen at Supreme Aussies for the opportunity to add to our pack with one of these boys.

Here's a video we took during our visit on Sunday. Watch for the blue merle to bite Scott's knee!

Life with four dogs

Lest you think that life with four dogs in the house is constant chaos, let me offer the following video clip as evidence to the contrary.

And yes, one dog is notable by his absence. Suffice it to say that neither would Smokey be welcomed by the others in this peaceful scene, nor would he be happy about sharing such close quarters. Poor Smokey!

Connor's Greatest Hits

Connor wants to audition for the "American Idol" television show.

What do you think?

Be sure to watch all the way to the end!

Rain Rain Rain!

January 10, 2008

Some of you have asked about our rain over the past few days. This "Pineapple Express" came in on Sunday January 4th and hung around for four days, dumping up to 11 inches of rain in the local mountains. This all fell on top of the unsually large snow pack that we'd had in December, creating massive floods. Many new flood levels were set.

This is a great representation of the amount of rain:


The worst of the flooding was in the Snoqualmie Valley. In this area, four major rivers converge and it's quite prone to flooding. Here is a map showing the rivers and how they meet in the valley.

The bridge visible in the bottom of the photo is the 124th St. bridge.

Not too far from here is the place that we've taken Keegan and Jake to go herding. This is the second time in 2 years that Diane's property has flooded. Her Border Collie Tess has been known to swim out to gather sheep and drive them to higher ground. Diane's Blog with photos of the flooding is here.

Snoqualmie is also famous for it's Falls. The Snoqualmie Falls park is an impressive place to visit on a regular day, but the recent view was astounding (and very wet):

The Falls are about 12 miles away from us. Thankfully, we are on higher ground and only had to deal with the flooding in our little town of Issaquah. No small amount though- Issaquah Creek rose to more than 10 feet and on a couple of mornings I drove through deep standing water.

To show a little example of how many roads were affected, here is a blurry map posted by the WA state DOT about 24 hours after the storm started. The road closures shown here were done BEFORE the rivers crested.

In our backyard (literally), the creek went from a trickle to about 8-10 feet wide and washed onto the lawn. The video was taken AFTER it started to receed.

The large black pipe noted by Scott at the end of the video turned out to be a six-foot section of the french drain pipe that was uprooted by the force of the water.

Nancy's BIG Birthday

October 31, 2007

I took the day off of work, of course. When I awoke, found I was treated to coffee in bed, a few gifts to open from my wonderful hubby, and time to be lazy and snuggle with the dogs under my down comforter. A little later we headed out for a hike to Wallace Falls, where the air was clean and there were no phones or mirrors to remind me that I've somehow managed to live for 50 years.

Wallace Falls is one of the tallest in the state, visible from the highway over 5 miles away. It's in a state park but the park is currently closed. Keegan went along and seemed pleased to be away from her brothers. The air was cool, but it didn't take long to work up a sweat. It was a little foggy but no rain was forecast.

There weren't too many people on the trail so often we had the trail to ourselves. The trail follows the Wallace River upstream and there are three main stopping points: the Lower, Middle and Upper Falls. The Middle Falls is the most spectacular. The falls drop 275 feet to a pool, then there is another drop of about 75 feet. Even this time of year there was plenty of water! Much of the river is cut into rock so it's steep and fast.

Between the Middle and Upper Falls is a viewpoint over the Skykomish River, Goldbar, Startup and, faintly in the distance, the Olympic Mountains.

The weather remained cool and the fog lifted. We worked up a good sweat over the 5 1/2 mile roundtrip, 1200 foot gain. It took about 2 1/2 hours with lots of photo-stops on the way up, and 1 1/2 hours to come down. Here are some photos and video of Upper Wallace Falls.

Wandering beneath the alders and fir, seeing fall mushrooms (the one in this photo is about an inch high), hearing the water roar in the falls, and just enjoying nature was the best possible way to spend the day.

A scenic drive home was followed by a hot bath (no photo!) with a glass of wine. Scott went out and picked up some yummy Chinese food. I was pleasantly tired, full and relaxed by the time I went to bed.

Thank you everyone for the calls and cards, and for not giving me too much grief about turning 50. I sure don't feel any older than I ever did (even if the mirror tries to tell me so).

Jake Breakdancing!

Father's Day 2007

Happy Father's Day, Scott!

Notice the hat his doggies got for him:

Father's Day weekend brought lots of adventures for the dogs of Furhaven. I had agreed to set up an ARPH (Aussie Rescue and Placement Helpline) information booth in Kirkland. Hauling dogs and a lot of gear is impossible in the Pilot.

We took the truck instead. Smokey went on Saturday and we've discovered he really gets stressed out riding in the truck (and attending these events). He was exhausted so we only took Keegan and Jacob on Sunday. They like riding so close to mom and dad!

Jacob, on the other hand, had to be sure he couldn't come up front and ride in my lap. What a character!